I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize