I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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