My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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