Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
