ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
