Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
