therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I need moral support for this bender
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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