I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
