There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
