VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
