I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
