I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
