my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
