tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
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Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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