So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
