i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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