The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
