When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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