p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
