I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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