im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
