That's intense
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
