At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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