Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
