I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
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