Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
