Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
