I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
