i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
