yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
