What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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