Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
