Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
