Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
then he tried to convert me to islam
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
