ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
