jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
