"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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