Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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