My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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