I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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