Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
