i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
