We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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