finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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