Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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