A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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