I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
