im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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