you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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