omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
