i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
