Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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