Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
