Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
