its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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