No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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