Taylor Swift is so right about you.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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