I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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