Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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