my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
