happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Four minutes until I can fart!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
