I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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