I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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