those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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