He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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