and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
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Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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