he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
