Do vagina's smell?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
