I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
