I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
